Triangle Martial Arts Association

Kids Safety
Triangle Martial Arts Association | Wednesday, 20 August 2008

Encourage them to tell you EVERYTHING and to report EVERYTHING to you. Make a game out of it for younger kids to increase the fun and reduce the concern. You MUST know what is going on in their lives in order to properly protect them and keep them safe.

Instill a "TELL ME FIRST" policy where they MUST tell you before they go anywhere, accept anything, or agree to help anyone - even neighbors, friends, and family members, but most especially strangers. Instill the second part which is, if they can't tell you, they can't go, accept, or agree.

Create and use a SAFEWORD that only the parents and the child know. This MUST be used by anyone who wants to change their normal schedule, take them from school, take them to the mall etc. if they aren't able to "TELL YOU FIRST." If the person, no matter who they are doesn't have the SAFEWORD, then instill in the child that they need to stay where they are until YOU can say it's ok.

Encourage your child to be courteous, helpful, and respectful to everyone while using the ‘TELL ME FIRST' and ‘SAFEWORD' rules. Play a game by having friends they don't know try to approach them and reward the child with a treat when they act properly. Be sure not to scold them if they act improperly, simply reinforce the ‘game' rules and have them practice the correct response.

Set ‘PLAY BOUNDARIES' as a defined physical area beyond which they are not allowed i.e. the end of the garden, the neighbors backyard etc. Never leave your child completely unsupervised - this could mean ensuring that they are playing with at least one other child or that an adult or older child is no more than a shouting distance away at all times.

Keep the "TELL ME FIRST" and "SAFEWORD" strategies, but adjust them as the child gets older, perhaps to use a cell phone to contact you. Role-play scenarios where they are ‘forced' to call home by a possible abductor where they use the "SAFEWORD" in what would be a normal call - helping you identify that something is wrong.

Continue to encourage them to tell you EVERYTHING as this remains the best way to identify possible threats or problems. Remember that many sexual assaults are perpetrated by close family members or friends and they will often try to trick the child into feelings of guild or complicity. Encouraging your child to communicate as honestly and openly as possible can help to identify possible problems quickly.

Use real-life examples of abuse or abductions that are age-appropriate and that your child is aware of as a result of media coverage to discuss and talk openly with them about the potential dangers that are out there. Don't frighten them or encourage paranoia, but offer them some strategies for dealing with a similar situation if it happened to them. Your local police department, martial arts training center, school, or self-defense training organization may be able to give you additional tips on this.

If someone does try to abduct your child, encourage them to "FIGHT AND SHOUT" as much as they can, as long as they can, and as hard as they can at the moment of abduction. Make sure they use words like "I DON'T KNOW YOU", "LEAVE ME ALONE", "YOU'RE HURTING ME", "YOUR NOT MY MOM/DAD" etc. to increase the chances of any potential witness paying more attention to the incident.

If your child is abducted, instill in them the need to survive and that you will ALWAYS be looking for them. Discuss ways they may leave clues or try to contact you or the police such as using a payphone if they have a chance, leaving a note at a store or with someone else. It's never going to be an easy thing for anyone to go through, and you don't want to create fear and panic in your child, but discussing it may give them one to two techniques that may help them escape if an abduction situation should ever occur.